CAN CHINESE FACE READING FIND YOU THE PERFECT MATE?
© BY CHARLES YARBOROUGH, L.Ac.
First of a Two-Part Series
Have you ever noticed a stranger across the room or in a subway or a grocery store and found yourself thinking, “What an interesting face”? It’s a natural response, an emotional reflex, the subconscious recognition of character traits that resonate with yours. If you’re free and single, you may try to catch their eye and say hello. If you’re not, you probably recognize it as inconsequential, and quickly move to other thoughts. Either way, without realizing it, you’ve amassed a mountain of visual data, sifted through it and made a complicated evaluation of a person you’ve never met. And you did it instantly. You didn’t submit a questionnaire, didn’t seek profound insights from a pop-psychologist or bring the person home to be ogled by your family. No, you used one of the most effective evaluators there is: face reading.
ABOUT FACE
One of the distinguishing features of Chinese culture is the notion of being inside or outside socially, of “having face” or not having it. Polite, casual conversation is traditionally reserved for those who have face. These are people who are related hierarchically through family, business or neighborhood. In eras of social upheaval, this tradition assured predictability and safe social interaction. Continued exposure to a comparatively informal Western culture, however, is gradually changing this tradition as well as the custom of arranged marriages. This may or may not be a good thing. In China, marriages were traditionally more than the uniting of two people in love. They were durable bonds in which permanence, loyalty and familial obligation trumped romance and happiness. Americans aren’t encumbered by these social pressures, but neither are they supported by a culture that confirms the importance of marital bonding through the worst of times. With a nearly 50% divorce rate, serial matrimony isn’t an embarrassment, it’s an option.
How, then, do you pick a mate if your mother and grandmother aren’t involved in the decision? While you may enjoy the freedom of choosing for yourself, you nevertheless have the responsibility of doing so wisely. In the process of sifting through your options, Chinese Face Reading may help.
FACE FACTS
Chinese Face Reading is an endlessly fascinating tradition, infused with ancient Taoist and Confucian concepts. In this context, the face is an expression of not only a person’s soul and physical/energetic landscape, but of the eternally shifting primeval forces of nature. While Chinese Face Reading is a vast subject, one that requires skill and knowledge, there are some basic precepts that can be put to use quickly. In practice, some of the first features to consider are the “rivers and mountains” of the face. Mountains include bony and fleshy prominences such as the nose, cheekbones, chin and brow. The size of nose will tell you--among other things-- about the person’s capacity for expending energy/money, the forehead speaks of determination and willfulness and the cheeks tell you about the amount of personal pride or rebelliousness a person may exude. The chin will express a person’s desire for continued engagement in work, in building and construction--either physically or intellectually. The “rivers” include the eyes, mouth and nostrils and are also used diagnostically.
Other features to consider are the varying heights and widths of the three lateral zones. A tall upper zone (hairline to eyebrows) denotes a conceptually motivated person. A tall middle zone (eyebrows to tip of nose) denotes a practically minded person and a tall lower zone (tip of nose to chin) denotes a person who interprets the world through raw experience.
To illustrate how these types interact in the real world, let’s imagine we’re on a date with all three zones and we’ve taken them to see a movie. Let’s say it’s “Pulp Fiction.” At dinner afterwards, Mr. Upper Zone tells you he appreciated the stylistic references, filmic pastiches and deliberate subversion of the temporal line in the movie’s narrative. Mr. Middle Zone marvels that the filmmaker once worked in a video store. He says it just goes to show how determination, self-discipline and belief in your own talent can help you achieve your goals. Mr. Lower Zone now chimes in. “Wow!” he gasps. “Did you see how John Travolta plunged that syringe into what’s-her-name’s heart? I thought I was going to puke!”
If these seem like gross oversimplifications of character, you’re right. Lower zone people can, for instance, be very conceptual, and higher zone people can be neglectful and absent minded. There is an inherent danger in merely cataloguing a person’s features and making a judgment on their character. Features must be placed in contrast to each other. The size of a nose may express the person’s ability to expend large amounts of money and energy, but what about the wisdom of these expenses? A person with a tall upper zone may be profoundly intellectual but is this supported by robust sensuality? The face is like a delicate tide pool in which each element exists in relationship to the surrounding features. This means the accomplished face reader approaches the face with an open mind, free from prejudice, with a willingness to let his or her observations overrule his or her expectations.
FACE VALUE
Below is a sampling of positives and negatives that demonstrates the relativity of each characteristic and how it changes within the context of situation. A negative may change polarity when placed in the dynamic landscape of daily challenges. This is why potential mates shouldn’t necessarily be dismissed without an understanding of their apparent flaws and idiosyncrasies.
* Negative: facial features reveal a man who loves material comforts but isn’t particularly refined or sophisticated in his tastes. Positive spin: His features also suggest he isn’t difficult to please. He may be a hard worker, someone with a deep and solid core of energy and determination, a man who is practically dye-cast for leadership. Would a woman of great refinement--say a high-fashion designer or a violinist--do well to find such a man? Only if having a secure and safe home life is necessary to her peace of mind and her ability to practice her art.
* Negative: facial features reveal a man who hates confrontation, who is unlikely to push through a business deal without regard for what others think, and who can be easily swayed by opinion. Positive spin: He has, for his own reasons, deliberately chosen to make his way through the business world on high moral ground. He has a talent for developing affinity with his associates and eliciting respect. While he may be overly cautious of appearing too aggressive, he compensates by building camaraderie with associates before presenting “the deal.” This means, ultimately, that his business associations are long-lasting and built on trust. Would a woman do well to find such a man? As long as he is able to discuss his feelings in the face of discomfort and doesn’t demonstrate passive-aggressive behavior, and as long as she isn’t seeking a cave man… quite possibly.
AN HONEST FACE
Potential mates are prized for their honesty as well as their dependability in difficult situations. Can you predict how a person will react in a high-stress situation? Great stress can elicit unexpected behaviors, both altruistic and destructive. A policeman may risk his own life in an act of spontaneous heroism, rescuing a person jumping from a bridge. Conversely, as the famous Milgram experiments of 1961 demonstrated, ordinary people may be induced to commit murder when instructed to do so by a perceived authority. In the Milgram experiment, participants were instructed to give progressively strong electric jolts to subjects who answered prescribed questions incorrectly. What the participants didn’t realize was that the subjects were actors and that the shocks were fake. As the “shocks” increased, the participants heard the subjects scream and beg to be unstrapped, complaining of a heart condition. Ultimately, 67% of the volunteers administered a “lethal shock.” Of course a husband, wife or partner may never wander into such a contrived experiment, but life is bound to bring unexpected tests of character. Since stressors are unforeseeable, it’s best to know if a potential mate is resilient or fragile, stubborn or easygoing, and likely to solve problems creatively. The insights of Chinese Face Reading may help.
While Chinese Face Reading may be useful in assessing potential mates, it must ultimately be directed toward oneself. A person must understand his or her own strengths and weaknesses in order to make reasonable demands on other people. Self-knowledge is all the more important in our modern world, where we select our mates without the support of cultural traditions or family influence. With Chinese Face Reading, the freedom to choose a mate can be supported by centuries of wisdom and insight, helping to make this important, life-changing choice a wise one.
